The Unfiltered Ramblings of a DVR Addict

In honor of the 20th Season of The Simpsons we are going to have a Simpson’s related list this week.  I know it hasn’t been a great show in years, but it is still a classic.  Here are the top 10 Characters on The Simpsons Who Are Not A Member of the Simpson Family:

1. Millhouse Van Houten-  Bart’s nerdy best friend and fall-guy.  He’s in love with Lisa, and his parents are divorced.  Milhouse is one of my favorite Simpson’s characters.  Favorite Millhouse quote: “Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl?”
2. Lionel Hutz- Lionel Hutz is possibly the worst lawyer in history, but he’s all the Simpson’s can afford. Favorite Lionel Hutz quote: “Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly,” and replace ‘dog’ with ’son.’”
3. Moe Syzlak- He might not have much self confidance, or luck with the ladies, but he sure can pour a mean Duff.  Moe is the surly bartender that runs the dank bar Moe’s.  He’s one of Homer’s best friends which wouldn’t stop him from moving in on Marge if she left Homer.  Favorite Moe quote: “Hi, my name’s Moe. Or as the ladies like to refer to me, ‘hey you in the bushes’”
4. Ralph Wiggum- How hard is it not to love Ralph Wiggum.  He’s the only character on the Simpson’s who might be dumber than his father.  There are so many great Ralph Wiggum quotes, it’s hard to choose one, but this is one of my favorites: “Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.”
5. Apu Nahasapeemapetilon- Apu is the faithful owner of the Quick-E-Mart.  He works almost 27 hours a day 7 days a week somehow.  He has 8 children, been shot numerous times, and was almost deported back to India thanks to Homer.  Favorite Apu Nahasapeemapetilon quote: “Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery. I do work in a convenience store, you know.”
6. Barney Gumble- If anyone can claim to be Homer’s best friend it is Barney.  He is the lovable town drunk, and Moe always has a seat ready for him.  No one love Duff Beer as much as Barney, hell he even driven the Duff Blimp.  Plus he’s the Plow King!  Favorite Barney quote: “Hey, Homer, I’m worried about the beer supply. After this case, and the other case, there’s only one case left.”
7. Krutsy the Clown- His real name is Herschel Shmoikel Pinkus Yerucham Krustofski, but the world knows him as Krusty the Clown.  He hails from the predominately Jewish Lower East Side of Springfield where his father was a Rabbi.  As with all funny men he is a tragic figure who has had a triple by pass, been estranged from his father, had a daughter he didn’t know about, and faked his own death.  Favorite Krusty the Clown quote: “I thought they were due! That game was fixed! The Globetrotters used a ladder for pete’s sake! C’mon! He’s just holding out the ball, take it”
8. Kent Brockman- There is only one place to get your news in Springfield, and that is from Kent Brockman.  He may not be the most reliable newsman on the planet, but in Springfiend that’s all you’ve got.  Favorite Kent Brockman quote: “Top o’ the mornin’ to ye on this gray, drizzly afternoon. Kent O’ Brockman live on Main Street, where today, everyone is a little bit Irish! Eh-heh, everyone except, of course, for the gays and Italians.”
9. Montgomery Burns- He’s the richest man in Springfield, he owns the nuclear power plant, and he’s Homer’s boss.  Easily the most hated, evil man in Springfield, it’s no wonder that when he was shot the entire town was considered a suspect.  No one is quite sure how old he is, we just know he’s ancient.  Favorite Mr. Burn’s quote:  “Woah, slow down there maestro. There’s a ‘New’ Mexico.”
10. Comic Book Guy- There is a little bit of every comic book store owner/ fanboy wrapped up in Comic Book Guy.  As far as we know he has no real name.  He owns The Android’s Dungeon & Baseball Card Shop, and his customers, mainly children are treated like his peers.  Just like Ralph, there are so many great quotes by Comic Book Guy.  Here are a few of my favorites:  Alec, Alec, regarding the so called “silent” propulsion system in The Hunt for Red October, I’ve printed out a list of technical errors which I think you’d enjoy discussing.”  “I insist you take special care with my collection of valuable and humorous bumper stickers, particularly this one (he indicates one that reads ‘My Other Car is a Millennium Falcon’) which was given to me by a Harrison Ford look-a-like.”

Don’t forget to comment for a chance to win a copy of Head Case: Season 1 on DVD.