The Unfiltered Ramblings of a DVR Addict

Well we all knew it was going to hit the fan on Californication, but I don’t think any of us knew it would happen all at once.  Hank has too many pokers in the fire, and Hank and Karen are talking over Skype when they have a disagreement about Becca spending time with Chelsea and her family.  Karen hangs up on Hank and there is a knock on the door.  It is Jackie and two of her stripper friends and they are wanting to party.  The next morning Hank wakes up along in Becca’s room.  He heads into his bedroom and finds Jackie asleep with the two naked strippers.  She tells Hank that last night they were celebrating her final night as a stripper.  She also begins to tell him that she quit so she could write and be with Hank.  She really wants to have “the talk” with him but they are interrupted by another knock at the door.

This time it is Runkle and Rick Springfield.  They are called back into the room by Jackie who tells them that one of the girls seems to be comatose due to too much ecstasy and booze the night before.  As they are carrying the girl out to the car, Rick Springfield starts to get verbally abusive with Hank.  Luckly for Hank they are interrupted by yet another knock at the door.  Hank ushers them all back into his room and shuts the door.  This time it turns out to be Jill who’s on the other side, and Hank can’t seem to dissuade her from coming inside.  Once inside Jill expresses her love for Hank and tells him that she accepts him for who he is (if she only knew).  At that point she takes off her overcoat to reveal she is naked underneath.  Of course at that point the there is one last knock at the door.  Hank shuffles Jill into Becca’s room where she falls naked on the bed and goes to answer the door.

This time it’s Felicia who happens to be standing there.  She walks in and also professes her undying devotion for Hank and tells him that she’s leaving her husband for him.  She told her husband that she had sex or as she calls it made love with Hank, and now only want sot be with Hank.  Way to go Hank 3 for 3.  At that point in time Runkle walks out without his pants and grabs some butter from the fridge.  Hank follows him back into the bedroom where he sees one stripper still passed out on the floor and Charlie and Rick Springfield both having sex with the other.  He spies Jackie sitting outside reading “Punching and Fucking.”  They share a brief moment that is interrupted by Dean Koontz standing in Hank’s kitchen.  Hank thinking that the dean is going to be pissed walks back inside.  It turns out that he’s not pissed, but really only wants to know how Hank does it with the women.  When he starts to complain about Felicia she come out of her hiding spot and confronts him.

At that point Becca and Chelsea walk in skipping school and very surprised to see all of their parents there.  Becca walks in her room finds, the naked Jill and within a few moments all of Hank’s sexual cards are out on the table, everyone knows who’s sleeping with whom, and none of the women are happy.  Luckly to break the awkwardness, Rick Springfield sets a fire in Hanks room that he has to deal with.  When they are all gone Hank has his first heart to heart with Becca in a long time.  She asks him why he acts they way he does, and why he treats women the way he does.  Hank really can’t give her a great answer.  Karen calls from New York and Hank lies and tells her that Becca is in school.  Maybe they will keep each others secrets.

Thoughts and Observations:

• Rick Springfield shows up to buy Hank’s Porsche.  Maybe Hank really is heading back to NYC.  Is Rick Springfield really i such bad shape that the only Porsche he can afford is Hanks POS?
• How much money do you think you get to play the passed out stripper who lays around naked the entire episode?
• Rick Springfield-”This morning I shit a pint of blood”  Hank Moody- “Why?”
• I’m not surprised that Rick and Hank don’t like each other.  They are both alpha dogs when it comes to women, but with completely different styles.  How can Charlie stand to be around Rick when he knows that he’s had sex with his wife?
• At one point the stripper who isn’t passed out tells Rick Springfield that he slept with her mom and didn’t use protection.  I thought she was going to tell him that he was her father.  When I saw him having sex with her I’m glad she didn’t say that.
• Poor Jill, she really seems to have a problem with men, or at least a problem choosing the wrong men.
• Despite sleeping with almost everything that comes his way, Hank really does love and respect women.  I think he generally cares for Jackie, Jill and Felicia; but he loves Karen.
• I’m going on record as saying that Hank’s not leaving California, and that by the end of the season he will be writing a new book.