15.  How I Met Your Mother- CBS, 2005- present: Not a lot of traditional sitcoms on this list, but How I Met Your Mother is a traditional single camera sitcom with a very unique non-linear storytelling method.  It has a great ensemble cast including Neil Patrick Harris in his greatest role since Doogie Howser, Barney Stinson.

14.  Mad Men- AMC, 2007- present: I think a lot of people wouldn’t have thought a drama set in the 1960’s based in an advertising agency would have worked.  And in different hands they sure might have been right, but under the skillful leadership of Matthew Weiner it’s brilliant.  Mad Men captures an era so different than the one we live in today, and captures it so accurately it’s scary.  I know people that grew up in this period that watch it just for the nostalgia, the fact that the show is so well written and so good is just an added bonus.  Only three seasons in, it’s put AMC on the map as a creator of original shows.  Largely an ensemble piece it’s hard to believe that most of the actors weren’t even alive at the period the show is set.

13. 24- FOX, 2001-present: Obviously when the show creators Joel Surnow and Robert Cochran first dreamed up the idea of 24 they had no idea that the world would change soon after.  The first episode of 24 aired a little less than two months after the events of September 11th, 2001.  All of a sudden the show became the most topical show on TV.  Set in real time with each episode taking place in a twenty four hour period with twenty four episode, one for each hour of the day it was original and ground-breaking.  We can also thank 24 for giving us one of TV’s greatest heroes, Jack Bauer, who also happens to be #1 on our list of TV’s biggest bad-asses.

12.  Six Feet Under- HBO, 2001-2005: The first of four offerings from HBO on this list.  Who would have thought a show about a funeral home could be so good?  The show was so dark, yet oddly comedic as well.  The Fisher might be one of the most dysfunctional families in the history of television.

11. Breaking Bad- AMC, 2008- present: High School chemistry teacher realizes he’s dying so he begins to make and sell meth.  Sounds like the premise for a comedy, but there is very little funny about this great show.  It’s dark and wonderfuly well written.  The only problem is that the seasons are so short.  Season three starts this fall and it’s going to be great!

10. Sons of Anarchy- FX, 2008- present: Readers of JoeOnTheTube.com know just ow muck I love this show.  It is a mix of everything that makes TV great.  Wonderful writing, great characters played by amazing actors, the perfect level of drama with just enough laughs thrown in to break the tension.  This modern retelling of Hamlet set in the world of outlaw motorcycle clubs is a fresh and welcome change to so much of the monotonous TV that is out there.  With only two seasons under it’s belt I had trouble moving it any higher, but next year when the real list comes out and it has a thrid season out I expect it to fall in the top five.Series creator Kurt Sutter knows what makes awesome TV.

9.  Top Chef- Bravo, 2006- present: Despite this being the decade of reality shows I’ve only  included one on this list, the one I consider the gold standard for reality shows.  Top Chef took the format of Project Runway, and improved on it.  At it’s heat it’s a simple cooking contest, but the drama that comes up in the kitchen and in the house where the chefs who are competing (I don’t like the term “cheftestants”) live really turns up the heat.  Plus a little Padma Lakshimi is always a good thing.

8.  It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia- FX, 2005-present: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is the funniest show currently on TV, and the second funniest show of the past decade (I’ll get to the funniest show later in the list).  While it might be the funniest show currently on TV, let’s face it that humor isn’t for everyone.  It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is an equal opportunity offended, and sure to offend everyone who watches it sooner or later, but that’s one of the things that makes it so great.  This show started off with a bang and got better after the addition of Danny DeVito in the second season.

7. The Office- NBC, 2005-present: I know there are those people out there that believe the American version of The Office is just a poor man’s rip-off of the British version, and that might have been the case for the first season and a half, but since then The Office has taken the foundation that the British version poured and built a very solid house on it.  Each season seems to get better and better, and the mockumentry format of the show makes it feel like no other show on TV.  The fact that they’ve held on to the original cast through six seasons despite some of them becoming huge stars says a lot about the quality of this show.

6.  Big Love- HBO, 2006- present: It’s hard to qualify Big Love, I guess it is a drama, but man it sure is funny sometimes as well.  The show centers on a modern polygamist family, the Henricksons living n Sandy, Utah.  Bill Henrickson is just like any other modern man, except he was raised on a polygamist compound and he has three wives.  The problems that comes with having three wives are the same as the problem you have with one wife, just three times as many.  The series also introduced us to one of the great villains of the decade, the Prophet Roman Grant , played by Harry Dean Stanton.  Season 4 starts January 10th, it’s going to be great.

5.  30 Rock- NBC, 2006- present: The show that takes place within a show, sort of.  With a cast like Tiny Fey, Alec Baldwin, Tracy Morgan and an amazing supporting cast how could this show not be great.  Despite the first three seasons not doing great in the ratings, NBC has stuck with it (even with all the fun they have at the Peacock Network’s expense) and each season gets better and better.  With Tina Fey Writing many of the episode it shouldn’t be a surprise how great this show is.

4. Curb Your Enthusiasm- HBO, 2000- present?: It would be easy to understand if Larry David retired from television all together after creating, Seinfeld, one of the greatest sitcoms of all time, especially considering all the money he’s made.  Luckily for us that wasn’t the case.  In 1999, just a year after Seinfeld went off the air Larry David started in a special for HBO called Larry David: Curb Your Enthusiasm.  It was intended to be a one-off show, and it became the series, Curb Your Enthusiasm.  The show is loosely based on Larry David’s real life, and is completely improvised, which adds to it’s comedic appeal.    The seventh season of Curb Your Enthusiasm just ended last week, and there is a good chance that it will be the end of the series.

3. The Wire- HBO, 2002-2008: If not for The Soprano’s, The Wire would be the greatest show in HBO history; and it is easily the greatest cop show on the decade, maybe of all time..  Set in the gritty crime ridden city of Baltimore each season dealt with a different aspect of life revolving around the drug trade.  The central police characters were the same, but the story was different each season with stories dealing with the port, politicians, the school system and the print media.  The show was raw and it was real.  No happy endings here.

2.  Arrested Development- FOX, 2003-2006: Easily the funniest show of the past decade.   If ever there was a case of a show being gone too soon this is it.  Arrested Development centered around the Bluth family, a high dysfunctional group of misfits surrounding the only sane member of the family, Michael.  The writing was brilliant and the cast was amazing with Jason Bateman, David Cross, Jeffrey Tambor, Will Arnet, Tony Hale, Portia De Rossi, Jessica Walther, and Michael Cera.  As if that wasn’t enough, the guest stars and supporting cast were a virtual who’s who of Hollywood, including Ed Beagly Jr., Liza Minneli, Carl Wethers, Charlize Theron, Scott Baio, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, James Lipton, Amy Poehler, Ben Stiller, Jeff Garlin, Christine Taylor, and Jane Lynch to name only a few.  This show lives on in DVD, and soon to be in re-runs on IFC.  There are talks about a movie, but no news on a release date yet.  I would also like to point out that this show made me feel okay about my condition, I’m a never-nude.

1.  The Soprano’s- HBO, 1999-2007: Easily the best show of the past ten years, and maybe the greatest show of all time.  The Soprano’s is what TV should be.  It was real, it was dynamic, it was gritty, and we loved every bit of it.  From the moment we meet Tony Soprano and his ducks to the final scene in the diner, The Soprano’s never took a misstep.  The Soprano’s made it alright to root for the bad guys.  It was unlike any other show that came before it, and while may will try I don;t know that it’s formula will ever be repeated successfully.  David Chase is brilliant, and  hope that he will come back to TV again soon.

I’m sure I left a lot out.  Let me know what you think belonged on this list that I missed.

DarinIsLost-

• I’m thankful for Lost.  It has survived long enough to come to its natural conclusion.  Most serialized TV shows get cancelled before their time and an ending is simply fabricated.  Let’s hope they end this right.
• I’m thankful for being able to pause live TV.  I can start an American Idol results show 2/3 of the way through, skip past all of the filler and still catch the ending right along with the rest of the world.

JoanieCan’tDance-

• This year I am thankful for Psych, How I Met Your Mother, The Office & 30 Rock for making me laugh; All the Real Housewife’s for sharing all the crazy drama; and to SYTYCD for the entertainment. I am also thankful for my DVR. Without you, I would never get to enjoy all of my favorite shows.

Morate-

• The return of Curb Your Enthusiasm. The near-heroic levels of sarcasm on this show warm my heart. It’s been nice to see the Seinfeld cast again too, but Larry’s the true star of the show.
• I’m not sure who gave the programming controls to the Metalheads out there, but I’d like to buy them a shot of Jagermeister. VH1’s That Metal Show and Fuse’s Talking Metal are standouts of the resurgence. Rawk!
• Via Netflix, I’m catching up on Dexter. I totally missed it the first time around due to my lack of Showtime. This show is dark and dirty, and did I mention the main character has very few redeeming qualities? I can see why the networks were so afraid of this show. Dig it.
• The wife is thrilled to have a second helping of So You Think You Can Dance this fall. And, as you married guys know, it’s good to have a happy wifey.

Her & Him-

• HER: Tony’s truth serum induced rescue of Ziva on the season opener of NCIS.
  HIM: I absolutely love NCIS. The season opening was pretty great.
• HER: The Good Wife.
  HIM: Have never seen The Good Wife – don’t need to, I already have one. (Love ya babe)
• HER: Tom DeLay’s broken whatever that finally bumped him off Dancing With the Stars since the judges were apparently too dumbstruck by his ridiculous old man Republican hip shakin’ booty to do it.
  HIM: Ok, I’ll say it, I’m ok watching Dancing With the Stars – the women’s dance outfits are worth the time.
• HER: My husband doesn’t watch NASCAR.
  HIM: I don’t get NASCAR – go straight, turn left, go straight, turn left – um, ok?!
• HER: Phineas and Ferb.
  HIM: Phineas and Ferb
• HER: My daughter has finally outgrown Noggin.
  HIM: Unfortunately, she’s picked up watching videos on CMT with her mom. :-/
• HER: PBS.
  HIM: PBS is now on our radar again.
• HER: There are only a few weeks when the Mavericks and the Rangers overlap. Even fewer since the Rangers blew the last half of the season.  (I’m not saying I’m thankful the Rangers blew the last half of the season. I was rooting for them. But come on, how freaking long can one season be? Oh wait, that question can be answered by the NBA.)
  HIM: Yep, I love watching sports on TV
• HER: Grey’s Anatomy is good again.
  HIM: Grey’s Anatomy is good again.
• HER: That we only have one TV in our house and I am frequently reminded of the depths of my husband’s love. Case in point – last night, he watched Donnie Osmond take home the Glitter Ball trophy on Dancing With the Stars, even though the Mav’s were playing.  I’ll return the favor, of course, when I watch seven football games with him on Sunday. But that’s why God created DVR. Which I’m also thankful for.
  HIM: Yep, I love watching sports on TV

JoeOnTheTube-

• I’m thankful for my wife, who let’s me watch as much TV as I want.  I’m thankful for my newborn son whom I look forward to imparting my love of TV on, but I promise to make sure he goes outside and plays as well.
• I’m thankful that Ed O’Neill and Katey Sagal, or Peg and Al Bundy one of the most iconic married couples in the history of television, have found home on two of the best shows on TV.
• I’m thankful for the two best new shows of the season, Modern Family and Glee.
• I’m thankful for HBO and their wonderful shows True Blood, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Big Love, Bored To Death, The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency,and of course the upcoming mini-series The Pacific.
• I’m thankful that AMC has started producing quality television that rivals any other network on TV, including HBO.  Mad Men and Breaking Bad are both amazing.
• I’m thankful that Kurt Sutter created the world of Sons of Anarchy, and took us along for the ride.  As season two comes to an end I can honestly say that I believe it is currently the best hour of TV on.
• I’m thankful for the great people who write for this blog.  You make my life easier, and I really appreciate it.
• I’m thankful for this blog and all its readers.  When I started this thing about a year and a half ago I never imagined that anyone aside from a few of my friends and family would read it.  This month we’ve had over 30,000 visitors, and that blows my mind.  We have some big changes coming up, and I hope that everyone keeps coming back.  As long as you are reading we will be watching.

The rehearsals are still going on and Cheryl is rehearsing with Jason Alexander in the diner.  Everyone things Cheryl is doing great, especially Larry.  The two ex’s are starting to hit it off again and make plans to get together later that night at Cheryl’s house after the party that Julia is throwing for Jason Alexander’s new book, “Acting Without Acting.”  As Larry is leaving he see’s Mocha Joe, the lot coffee guy who Larry asks for a favor.  At the party Jerry Seinfeld tells Larry that Mocha Joe was a little upset that Larry didn’t tip him.  At that point Julie Louis-Dryfus pulls Larry aside and asks him if he left a ring on her table.  Larry proclaims his innocence,but Julia isn’t buying it.  Larry spots Mocha Joe outside and confronts him about what he was just told by Jerry.  In order to make it even Larry agrees to do a favor for him, going to pick up his coffee beans in West Hollywood.

Larry get’s stuck in traffic and is going to be late to Cheryl’s so she cancels.  Larry was also late picking up the beans and the place is closed.  The next morning Larry finds out that Cheryl had Jason Alexander over in his place, and starts to get jealous of the time they are spending together.  This obviously is the beginning of the end.  Larry does all he can to catch the two of them together just to confirm his suspicions.  At the same time he’s looking for who really left the ring on Julia’s coffee table.  At one point Larry even catches Jason in Cheryl’s dressing room, but Jason escapes through the bathroom window before Larry can confront him.  Larry tells Cheryl, “You’re not attracted to him, you’re attracted to George! I’m George!” In the end Larry ends up writing a new script for the show that gives Cheryl and Jason less screen time together.  This outrages everyone and Jason quits.  Larry offers to play the part since it is based on him anyway, and it doesn’t go so well.  For the betterment of the show Larry quits.  He tells Jeff (at least I assume it was Jeff on the other end of the phone) that since he did this all to get Cheryl back and that didn’t happen he decided to quit.

Larry is sitting at home watching the show as it airs, and he seems happy.  When Cheryl is supposed to come on screen Larry is shocked to find out that Virgina (played by Elizabeth Shue) is playing the part.  At that point the doorbell rings and it’s Cheryl holding some Mocha Joe’s coffee.  The two make up and Larry might have also discovered who left the ring on the table.

Like I said it was a great way to end.  No one is really sure if the show is coming back or not.  Larry David is mum on the thought of a 7th season, and HBO hasn’t said anything either.  I personally hope it comes back, but if it doesn’t it’s nice that Larry ends on a high note for once.

Thoughts and Observations:

• “Act without Acting.”  Brilliant.  It’s almost as if they were summing up Jerry Seinfeld’s acting style.
• “I respect wood.  I revere wood!”
• Jerry explaining why Larry can’t play George, “He’s an icon. She’s an icon. He was an icon. [points to self] Icon. [points to Larry] No-con!”
• It would have been great if Leon showed up in the final episode.  He was underutilized this season.  I love Leon.
• Was it cruel that Jason Alexander left his dogs in the hot car all day long?
• I really didn’t think the finale was that bad, but boy they kept bringing up how bad the cast thought it was.  That’s the problem with things like finales, they will never be as amazing as you want them to be.
• Jerry and Larry really are just the same.  Jerry Seinfeld could have played Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm and it might have been just as good.  The scene where Jerry gives Larry Larry’s stare to tell if he was lying was great, and dead on.  Jerry even describes them as “twins in the womb.”
• Michael Richards really was under utilized in this episode, and maybe all season.  I hope this helps vindicate him after the trouble he got into.
• We got to see almost 15 minutes of the fake Seinfeld Reunion show on Larry’s TV.  It really was great.  For a while there I thought we would see the whole episode.
• I complained a bit about the whole seaosn being a little far fetched, but I really did love it.  It was great seeing the whole cast back together again for the first time on TV.  This really was almost as good as a real Seinfeld reunion and in someways maybe it was better.

All that being said, tonight both the funny and unrealistic were out of control.  It’s time for the table read of the Seinfeld Reunion, and all the cast and crew are gathered at the studio. Larry makes the rounds of the cast members.  Julia-Luuis Dreyfus is asking Larry about Cheryl.  She seems surprised that Cheryl got the part.  A few moments later Jason Alexander asks Larry the same thing, and then asks to borrow Larry’s pen.  Michael Richards seems to be worried because he might have Groats Disease.  He remembers that Funkhowser’s friend Danny Duberstein had Groats, and Larry promises to put Michael in touch with him.  Before the read starts, Larry spots Funkhowser at the craft services table loading up.  Larry doesn’t want him there, but agrees to let him stay if it’s ok with Jerry.  Funkhowser tells Jerry a filthy joke and Jerry takes a liking to him.  Before the table read begins Larry is introduced to a crew members daughter, who tells Larry that she will be late after lunch because she is talking the little girl to the doctor, because the girl has a “rash on her pussy.” See what I mean about being un-realistic?  What mother of a nine-year-old talks about her daughter that way?  The answer is NO MOTHER OF A NINE-YEAR-OLD TALKS THAT WAY.  Larry doesn’t even thin it’s that strange, and continues to repeat what’s wrong with the girl throughout the episode.

The table read is going well, and seems like it would be a very funny episode.  The premise is that George made millions off an iPhone app called iToilet, and then lost it all investing it with Bernie Madoff.  His ex-wife, played by Cheryl didn’t lose her money since she pulled her money out, and now George wants to marry her again so he can get his money back.  Larry is the only one that doesn’t seem to be enjoying the read because he is concentrating on Jason Alexander putting Larry’s pen in his mouth and ear, and scratching his back and chest with it.  Larry is disgusted and when Jason tries to give him the pen back Larry refuses.  While working on the script Larry receives his first text message from the 9-year-old he was introduced to.  Turns out her mother gave her Larry’s number.  Larry begrudgingly texts her back which opens the floodgates.

At lunch Larry asks Jeff how he can get in touch with Funkhowser’s friend Danny Duberstein.  Jeff informs him that Danny is dead, and Larry wonders what he’s going to do with Michael Richards.  The restaurant they are in is packed, but since Larry slips the maître d’ $20 every time he goes in, Larry and Jeff are seated right away.  Larry get’s a few more texts from the little girl, and looses his cool with her sending her a text in all caps.  When he arrives back on the set for the reunion the little girl’s mother confronts Larry and tells him that he has to make it up to her by taking them both to lunch and giving the girl a present.    Inside Jason and Larry continue to argue about the pen after Jason gives him a replacement that Larry feels isn’t as good as the original.

At the news stand with Leon, Larry convinces him to portray Danny Duberstein and they agree to meet Michael Richards the next day at 2 after Larry’s lunch with the mother and daughter.  As Larry is going up to pay for his magazine, cash in hand he encounters the maître d’ and the guy takes the cash right out of Larry’s hand.  Larry is shocked, but doesn’t do anything about it.  At lunch the next day, larry doesn’t tip the maître d’ because he took the $20 the day before.  The guy is offended and Larry get’s horrible service causing him to be late to his meeting with Michael and Leon.

Forced to work alone Leon convinces Michael that he is Danny Duberstein, and that the only way he beat Groats was by wearing his lucky hat which he gives to Michael.  Larry is standing watching the rehearsals with Leon and Larry is itching all over.  Looks like he may have gotten that rash from the little girl.  Michael Richards is wearing the  hat Leon gave him, when Funkhowser crashes the set again, this time with the real Danny Duberstein’s widow.  When Michael finds out the truth he storms out and confronts Leon in front of a huge crowd a la a few years ago when Michael Richards screamed and yelled some racial slurs at some audience members, nad of course just as it happened before the crowd is filming it with their cell phones.  I told you last week that I didn’t think this reunion would happen.  I still have my doubts.

Larry is having a doctors look at the rash when he tells him where he got it from, his nine-year-old friend with a “rash on her pussy.”  The doctors leaves the room as Larry is texting the little girl and tells his receptionist to call the police.

Wow, that was a long re-cap, but a lot happened in that episode, and it was a little longer than usual.

Thoughts and Observations:

• “No, you gotta do that once every 13 years. You gotta recharge the mitzvah.”- Leon on being Jewish.
• “You don’t loan Jason anything that can be inserted.”- Jerry’s advice to Larry about loaning Jason Alexander a pen.
• I love the fact that Michael Richards can talk about the incident that pretty much destroyed his career a few years ago.  I was wondering if it would come up during this whole reunion show thing.
• Am I the only one that was completly surprised at just how dirty Funkhower’s joke for Jerry was?
• In the reunion episode, Jerry donated his sperm so that Elaine could have a kid.  They’d had sex many times before, do you suppose they did it the old fashioned way or did Jerry use a jar?
• How long is this episode going to be is, Kenny Bana, George’s mom, and Newman are all worked into it somehow?  I guess the finale did have almost every episode that was ever on the show on it.
• George’s iPhone app the iToilet is brilliant, especially if you’ve ever tried to find a bathroom in NYC.  There was actually a Seinfeld episode where George claimed he knew of a good public bathroom anywhere in the city.  Good to know he finally put that knowledge to good use.
• Just FYI, Groats isn’t real disease, but a disease that Curb Your Enthusiasm made up in its second season.  Nice to see them bring it back.

With only two episode left after last night we are really getting down to the wire on the Seinfeld reunion.  The majority of this episode revolved around who would play George’s wife in the reunion.  Of course Larry is pulling for Cheryl since he has hopes that it will bring them back together, but another actress, Virgina Sloane played by Elizabeth Shue is auditioning as well.  Aside from that problem, Larry was buying new pants at the Banana Republic when the fire alarm went off.  Outside Larry runs into a police officer named Officer Krupke, just like in West Side Story.  The officer is unfamiliar with the play and Larry sings a bit to him.  Instead of waiting for the building to be cleared he leaves his old pants inside and leaves in the new one with the security tag still on them with intentions of returning later.  Meanwhile Susie finds a pair of panties in Jeff’s glove compartment.  Instead of fessing up to cheating on her, he tells Susie that they are Larry’s.  Larry has some trouble with Jeff’s explanation, but agrees to go along with the ruse to help Jeff. Over at Jeff’s house Larry takes a walk and insults some kids running a lemonade stand.  Their mother tracks Larry down and threatens to call the cops on him.

That next day  at the audition Cheryl and Virgina realize they are both reading for the same part.  They are old friends and Virgina invites Cheryl to have lunch with her and her husband, Bo Duke… I mean Dennis played by John Schneider.  Inside the audition Cheryl does very well, but ultimately the part is offered to Virgina.

When Larry goes to return the pants he bought and get his old pair back the store can’t find his old pair so Larry just keeps the new pair with the security tag on them.  Outside the store Larry bumps into Cheryl and tells her that she didn’t get the part.  She tells him at lunch that Dennis asked her to be in a ménage a trios with he and Virgina.  Larry is appalled and confronts Dennis, who tells Larry that Cheryl was very open to the idea.  Over at Jeff and Susie’s house Jeff is getting nervous about Susie finding out about the panties.  When Larry shows up Jeff convinces him to sell the story better than tells Larry that Virgina can’t play the role because she hurt her neck.  Of course the two can only think of two ways to hurt your neck, a car accident and cunnilingus.  They jump to the last conclusion involving Virgina and Cheryl after they see that Virgina’s car hasn’t been wrecked.

Larry tells Cheryl she has the part over lunch, but she walks out on him after he tells her his theory.  After Cheryl storms out Larry gets a call from Jeff who needs Larry’s help convincing Susie about the panties.  Larry has an idea.  Larry heads over there and on the way sings “Krup You” to the lady and the kids running the lemonade stand.  They call Officer Krupke and when he shows up he notices the security tag on Larry’s pants.  Larry takes off the pants to give them to him revealing women’s underwear.

Thought and Observations:

• Curb has been relying on lots of huge coincidences this season.  There are over 9,000 LAPD officers out there.  What are the odds that Officer Krupke would be the one that showed up at Jeff’s house?
• I know I saw Ben Affleck leaving the Banana Republic when the fire alarm went off.  DId anyone else notice this?  I watched it twice and it’s defiantly him.
• “‘Hey, Officer Krupke, Krup you!’ Has anyone ever said that to you?” “No. Some guy told me to go fuck my face once. He went to jail.”
• There have been quite a few references to Jeff’s extramarital liaisons this season.  Think he’s heading for big trouble by season end?
• I have a feeling that the Seinfeld Reunion won’t ever see the light of day.  Not sure why, I just do.

Larry’s cousin Andy is in town.  While he’s there, he visits Larry’s mother’s grave with Larry and his uncle.  He orders some eggs with crispy onions, plays a round and a half of golf, Larry offers to pay for his daughter’s college.  Seems like it should have been a pretty good trip out to L.A.  Of course if you are dealing with Larry David it’s not that simple.

Larry’s father cut a few corners on his wife’s tombstone to save some cash.  Larry offers to take care of it.  At the club Larry first kills Norm by elevating his blood pressure, then the next day he kills the club owners prized black swan.    Of course the foursome he’s playing golf with are all scared of getting kicked out of the club so they vow not to tell anyone.  Larry also briefly fights with the stone mason who’s going to fix his mother’s tomb stone about the value of Derek Jeter.  By the way, the Yankee’s look like they are going to take a 3-1 lead in the World Series as I type this.  Go Yankees!  Larry also has a problem with the additional tip line on his checks at the club.  Of course he ends up leaving an additional $500 when he thinks the waiter finds out that he killed the swan, which also happens to remove him from suspicion with the club owner as well.  That is until the stone mason pays him back by putting “Mother of Larry, an asshole and a swan-killer” on his mother’s grave.

Thoughts and Observations:

• Cousin Andy always seems to go to far doesn’t he.  After Larry offers to pay for Andy’s daughters education, which was a surprising move by Larry I thought, Andy asks Larry to pay for his wife to co to cosmetology school.
• Speaking of Andy, when did he get married?  Last time we saw him he was face down in the breasts of a Playboy Playmate.
• Of course Larry has a bad reputation at the club.  Larry has a bad reputation everywhere.
• Does Larry’s Blackberry not have a vibrating ring setting?
• I too hate the additional tip line.  I’m saying this as someone who worked as a waiter for a long time.  Either don’t include gratuity or put exactly what you want as the tip.  Don’t make people do anymore math than necessary.
• IS Larry a murderer?  I mean Larry didn’t give Norm the high blood pressure, nor did he know he had it.  I mean couldn’t you say poor diet or lack of exercise was the murderer just as much as Larry was?
• I thought Larry trying to keep Funkhowser and the others under control at the table was hilarious.  He was so take charge.
• “You lost a little face didn’t ya? Got your face back?”- Larry talking to Mr. Tagahashi after he apologized to Larry.
• It’s almost like we are getting one episode dealing with the Seinfeld Reunion, and one without.  It just keeps alternating.
• I might have jinxed the Yankees when I mentioned it up there.  The game is now tied 4-4.  Go Yankees!

At the Seinfeld Reunion production office Larry and Jerry are hard at work when their assistant comes in wearing a bare midriff with her flabby “muffin top”(to use a Seinfeld reference) hanging out.  Both larry and Jerry are bothered by it, and it is decided that Larry is to be the one to say something to her about it.  Of course this doesn’t go well.  Larry offends her and she ends up quitting, which makes both Larry and Jerry happy anyway.  Later that day Richard Lewis meets Jerry and Larry for lunch, but neither will move over in the booth so Lewis ends up stomping off while they are arguing.

When they return to the office Julia-Louis Dreyfus is waiting for them and asks what happened with Maureen the assistant.  Jerry quickly throws Larry under the bus and Larry has to go hire her back.  Larry goes to her house and gets her to agree to come back.  While he’s there he meets Maureen’s mother who thinks Larry is the spitting image of her first husband who was murdered in a road rage incident in 1962.  Larry imagines himself in the scenario.  While he’s there, Larry use the bathroom, and due to the medicine he’s taking his unusually strong stream sprays up and a drop lands on the picture of Jesus that is hanging about the toilet.  Of course Larry isn’t going to touch the urine so he leaves it for Maureen and her mother to find.  They believe the picture is crying and proclaim it a miracle.

The next day Maureen comes in and quits again.  SHe recounts the story of the miracle and tells Larry and Jerry that she’s and her mother are buying an R/V and going to take the miracle on the road.  Larry agrees to co-sign for the R/V and tells her that he will meet her at the bank the next day at 3.  While he’s picking up his lunch the next day Larry takes a lot of napkins from the take-out place.  The manager stops him and tells him he can only take two.  Larry grabs a huge stack of napkins and leaves.  While on the way to the bank Larry is pulled over and arrested for stealing napkins.  Since the manager can’t ID Larry in a line-up (he only remembers him being bald) Larry is set free and Maureen’s mother picks him up from the police station.

On the way home Larry see’s Lewis driving and honks to get him to pull over.  Maureen’s mother has a flashback of her first husband dying and runs over Lewis.  That evening Larry is locked out of the office and has to go the bathroom so he releaves himself outside.  While doing so Maureen and her mother come upon him and figure out that the tear on Jesus’ face was actually Larry’s spray.  The mother is so distraught she attempts to jump off the building only to be pulled back by Larry.  He ends up falling off the building and grabs hold of the only thing that he can, Maureen’s muffin top.  Top of the muffin to you!

Thoughts and Observations:

• While the words “muffin top” were never uttered, I thought it was another nice nod to Seinfeld.
• Jerry and Larry are so similar.  Jerry seems to be just as neurotic as Larry is, and thinks in almost the same way.
• Jerry drove two different Porsches during the episode. I’d read that Jerry is a collector of cars and has an affinity for the Porsche.
• Last week’s episode (and myself) took some flack for being insensitive to handicapped people.  I thought it was funny that Larry stood up for the handicapped when arguing with the restaurant manager.
• There were some unbelievable things in this episode.  How long was Larry’s urine going to stay on Jesus’ face before drying?  Would the police really arrest you for taking too many paper napkins?  I’m willing to forgive a lot with this show though.

I learned one thing from last night’s episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Rosie O’Donnell can and will kick your ass.  I’m sure the casual Seinfeld fan who tuned in last night in hopes of the gang showing up was disappointed, since there was only one small mention of the upcoming reunion.  My guess is we aren’t going to see the full cast of Seinfeld show up again the last two episodes, and that’s fine with me.  As big a fan as I am of Seinfeld, I really love Curb and Larry David so I’m happy to watch his antics alone.

Last night’s episode dealt almost entirely with women in wheelchairs.  Larry asks a woman, Denise out to dinner and then see a concert at a friend’s house a few days later.  Only after he asks her out does he find out she’s in a wheelchair.  Larry realizes he can’t break the date just because she’s not able to walk, so he decides to go through with it.

That same day Larry has lunch with Jeff and Rosie O’Donnell.  Larry and Rosie get into it over who will pick up the check and the two get into a fight.  Not just an argument, but a rolling around on the floor fight.  Needless to say, Rosie get’s to pay for lunch.  Outside Larry runs into the couple who’s hosting the concert and they have their adopted Chinese daughter with them.  Larry asks them if they have noticed if their daughter has a proclivity for using chopsticks.  They are offended and walk off.

That night Larry has his date.  Despite it going pretty poorly he ends up back at her place in bed with her.  After getting no response he seeks Leon’s advice.  Leon questions whether or not Larry brought it and “put his dizzle on it.”  He also get’s a message telling his he no longer invited to the concert.

After a second date with Denise Larry runs into the couple again and he is re-invited because they see the couple together.  Larry sees the advantages to dating the handicapped.  The next day at the beach, Suzie gets mad at him and throws his Blackberry in the ocean.  He loses all his numbers and has no way to get in touch with Denise, since he doesn’t know her last name, and only had her in his Blackberry as “Denise Handicapped.”  Larry and Leon decide to go looking for her house.  They find what they think is her neighborhood and when they spot another woman in a wheelchair they decide it’s possible that they two women know each other since they have a similar situation.  While the woman, Wendy doesn’t know Denise she is a fan of the violinist that is playing that night so Larry invites her in Denise’s place.

When Larry shows up at the house concert with Wendy, it turns out that Denise is already there.  Larry stashes Wendy in a closet to avoid any confrontation and talks to Denise to explain what happened.  When his phone starts ringing and she Denise sees that the caller ID reads “Wendy Wheelchair” she let’s her out of the closet and the two chase Larry throughout the house until Larry can get away by being on the stairs.  It is then that Rosie O’Donnell takes up the cause and chases Larry down to fight him again.

Thoughts and Observations:

• While Larry’s phone entries, “Denise Handicapped” and “Wendy Wheelchair” were funny, Leon’s were even better, “Nasty Big Tits” and “Janelle Sweet Ass.”
• I don’t think Larry’s question about chopsticks was that off the wall.  It’s a good question.  I mean the Chinese has been using chopsticks for what a thousand years?  It makes sense that that talent might have been ingrained in them.
• I love that Denise was disappointed that Larry was bald.

Hank appears to be sitting in a strip bar watching his student Jackie shake her money makers, which from the looks of it should be making her lots of money.  Turns out that Hank is actually sitting in a faculty meeting for the English Department day dreaming.  He’s awoken by Felicia who’s invited him to a mixer at her house that evening that Hank can’t seem to get out of.

At the mixer Hank finds Jackie working the bar and flirts with her a little, keeping that door wide open for the future.  Hank begins snooping around and finds Dean Koontz’s Civil War miniatures upstairs when he is caught by Felicia.  She kisses him only to be caught by Jackie.  All three head downstairs and Hank finds his TA Jill visibly upset since her date for the evening stood her up.  Inside Dean Koontz’s office Hank tries to console the two quickly find themselves having sex.  Afterwards they are almost caught by the Koontz’s but Hank’s quick thinking get them out of it.  Three beautiful women at the same party who all want him.  Poor, poor Hank Moody.

Charlie is trying to get his career back on track and he and Sue Collini meet with Rick Springfeld.  Charlie wows both Rick and Sue and he signs Rick as a client.  He calls Marcy to ask her to celebrate with him and she turns him down.  Charlie finds solace in the pants of Sue, and the two are caught with their pants down by Marcy who appears to have had a change of heart.

Thoughts and Observations:

• Rick Springfield?  Really?  I mean I love Jessie’s Girl as much as the next person, but couldn’t you get a little bigger name than Rick Springfield?
• Charlie is completely hidden by Sue when she’s on top of him in his office chair.
• Hank was wearing a snuggie?
• What are the rules for college professors dating or sleeping with their students nowadays?  I have a feeling that Jackie might be the end of Hank’s teaching career.
• It didn’t take long for the lovely Eva Amurri to get naked on the show.  I mean she does play a stripper and all.  I wonder what her mother, Susan Sarandon thinks about it?  By the way, that was the tamest image I could find of the whole fantasy sequence.  Trying to keep it family friendly here, so if you want to see more the pictures are out there.

Last night’s episode started on an airplane.  We don’t know where Larry was going, and we don’t know where he’s been and it’s never mentioned again.  He’s sitting next to a guy in shorts, and Larry is a little grossed out by it.  When the stewardess bring Larry a hot towel he burns his hand on it. Back in L.A. Larry has the burn checked out by his doctor, Dr. Morrison.  After he is done getting bandaged up Larry ask the doctor for his home phone number.  Mainly just to get him out of the office, the doctor agree to give it to him.  BIG MISTAKE.  Outside the doctor’s office, Larry runs into an old flame, Mary Jane Porter whom he dated fifteen years earlier before he was married to Cheryl.  Mary Jane asks him out for the following evening.  Havering something to work on must be good for Larry since he seems to be doing all right with the women all of a sudden.

That evening at Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen’s anniversary party Larry spies Christan Slater making a meal of the caviar on the buffet table.  Larry ends up ratting him out to Mary, right before Suzie presents the couple with their gift, a song from their daughter Suzie.  Sammy turns out to be a horrible singer, and Larry stops the song early doing what he believes a favor for everyone.

The next day Larry tries to call Jeff and ends up calling Dr. Morrison at home.  Of course the doctor is annoyed and ends up asking him a few times during the call not to call him at home again.  That night he goes out with Mary Jane.  He spies Ted, Mary, Jeff, and Suzie at the restaurant and has to make an excuse for stopping Sammy from singing.  This leads him to stop the singing waiter from signing for the other patrons and destroying the man’s confidence.  Back at Mary Jane’s apartment she and Larry are making out when the phone rings.  It turns out to be her boyfriend and Larry has to high-tail it out of there.

Later at home Larry is exercising when he gets a phone call from Mary Jane.  Turns out she gave her boyfriend Larry’s address and he’s on his way over to Larry’s house to confront him.  Never being one for confrontation, Larry heads out the back door and runs over to Dr. Morrison’s home and asks to hide out.  Dr. Morrison refuses him and then he heads over to Ted and Mary’s place only to be turned away again, but not before Ted makes Larry promise to go apologize to the singing waiter.  Larry eventually finds sanctuary at Jeff and Suzie’s house.  He is woken the next morning by more of Sammy’s awful singing, and when he yells at her Suzie kicks him out.

That next evening Larry goes to apologize to the waiter, and sees Mary Jane.  She tells him that she is meeting her boyfriend, and Christian Slater and his girlfriend.  Larry gets out of the restaurant as quickly as possible with the boyfriend on his tail.  He passes Christian Slater while trying to hide, and of course he rats Larry out.

Thoughts and Observations:

• Larry can only unhook a bra with his left hand, the hand that was burned.  Wasn’t this a plot on Seinfeld as well?
• What did Dr. Morrison think would happen when he gave Larry his phone number.  On an unrelated note, I love it when old Seinfeld actors show up.  Phillip Baker Hall who played Dr. Morrison was also Mr. Bookman on Seinfeld, the library detective.
• While Larry does often act inappropriately, I think he always does what everyone else wants to do.  I mean everyone thought that Sammy singing was horrible, and it is a horrible gift, right?
• I completely agree with Larry on the dude wearing shorts in first class.  I was raised to think you dress up on a plane, especially in first class.
• Larry exercises?
• Only one brief mention of the Seinfeld Reunion.  When Jeff brought up Meg Ryan.  What’s Larry going to do about this one?