We did get one step closer to meeting the elusive mother.  I thought it was such a waste of a great actress in Rachel Bilson to have her as the mother’s roommate who we are only going to see this once.  The other guest star of the night, Stacy Keibler of WWE fame was not a waste at all, but of course I don’t think she was hired for her acting ability, which wasn’t bad at all by the way.  Stacy played the hot bartender that Barney gave up his suits for, and if there was ever a woman that it was worth giving something up for, it’s Stacy Keibler.  She is hands down one of the hottest women on the planet.

Well enough about that.  Here is the musical number from last night.

For those of you that can’t remember back to spring of 2009, at the end of the second season of Chuck (back when we thought it would be the final season); Chuck Bartowski became the intersect 2.0.  So not only was he able to flash on all sorts of government secrets, he also got all sorts of super spy abilities.  So now the head Nerd Hearder can install your hard drive and kick your ass.  Fast forward to tonight’s premiere episode of season three and we find Chuck in Prague at a top secret spy training facility built especially for him.  The problem is that Chuck is failing.  He can’t seem to flash on command and pull up those cool abilities when he needs them.  We also find out that six weeks previously Sarah, Chuck’s handler and love interest made him an offer to run away with him and start a new life, just the two of them.  Chuck decided not to go with her, and instead focus on becoming a spy.

With Chuck not able to pull up his abilities when he needs them he flunks out of spy school and lands firmly on Ellie and Awesome’s couch with a can of cheese-balls, no job as a spy and without Sarah.  Of course it didn’t take long for Chuck to get back into the world of secret agents.

It was good that tonight NBC aired both of the first two episodes, because I think they were really meant to be watched in one sitting.  Sure this is a seriel show and one episode leads into the next but these two episodes were somehow more than that.  It’s almost like they were one long episode.  In the span of those two episodes we learned that there is a new bad guy on the block now that Fulcrum is out of commision, the Ring.  We learned exactly why Chuck didn’t go with Sarah, and strangely enough it was because he loved her.  Morgan is back from Hawaii, because Anna dumped him and he could no longer flip his shrimp at Benihana.  And since Morgan is back, he and Chuck get to move in together.  That is going to be epic.

The best part of this whole thing is that we are going to get ANOTHER episode tomorrow night.  How can you go wrong?  Three episodes of Chuck in 24 hours.  I’m happy.

Thoughts and Observations:

• I have a feeling this whole being in love mess is going to be much harder for Sarah to deal with than it will be for Chuck.  After all he’s made it real clear just how he feels, she’s the one that can’t express herself.
• I wonder if my iPhone would keep power for as long as Sarah’s did if I threw it in the pool.
• At the start of the first episode when Chuck was in the training simulation I was having a hard time buying him as a bad-ass.  Am I the only one?  It’s good that despite being able to do the things he can do he still the same old Chuck deep down.
• Casey got to use his big gun.  Good for him.
• I’m going to miss Tony Hale as Emmit.  Sure he was a jerk that needed to be taken down a peg or two, but I never expected him to get shot in the face half-way into episode one.  Maybe he needed time off to go film that Arrested Development movie.  At least Big Mike is back in his absence.
• Speaking of Big Mike, not a Subway foot-long in site for either episode.  I think that would have been a nice nod to the fans that were so vocal about this show coming back.  I hope the fans rally in the same way to help save Better Off Ted.
• So did Morgan actually do the dead with Karina or did he just wake up next to her and she let him think that.  My thought is that he did actually sleep with her since she was so attracted to him after he told her off.  That should be good for Morgan’s self-esteem.
• I loved that Chuck flashed and was able to play guitar.  This is going to lead to some fun things this season.

Official Creepy Index Rating for Tiger Woods: Barney Stinson
We feel after weeks of endless news coverage, we’re all kind of used to the story now. Tiger has become that guy at your office that might stare a bit too long at female coworkers. He might brag a little too loudly about his conquests.

Do you hate him for this? Maybe so, maybe not.

Would you let him date your sister? Probably not.

Is he successful, despite his shortcomings? Yes, so far.

The premise of this week’s episode was that Robin is a smoker, and she ends up getting the whole gang to smoke.  Not by peer pressure, but by just being around them.  Has Robin always been a smoker?  I loved that she smoked while she was doing everything, even brushing her teeth.  Strange that it hasn’t come up before now.  When Marshall sees Robin smoking he bums one from her and smokes too.  He tries to hide it from Lilly, but she knows.  Lily uses the fact that Marshall is smoking to smoke herself.  Ted and Barney feeling left out decide to join the other three in smoking.

Marshall tries to quit, but keeps on smoking so that he can get in tight with his new boss, who was actually his old boss played again by Bob Odenkirk.  With his new boss firing everyone Marshall has to keep smoking just to spend time with the guy and save his job.  Robin is also working to save her career.  She has a new co-anchor, Don Frank who’s been the morning show anchor in over 30 different markets including Seattle, Cedar Rapids, and Beaverton.  Don is pretty jaded, and can’t even bother to put pants on to do his job.  He figures no one is watching so why should he care.  Robin hasn’t become jaded yet, and she’s convinced that she shouldn’t give up on her dreams of making it to the networks.

Meanwhile smoking is taking it’s effect on everyone.  Barney ruined a good tie.  Ted can barely make it up the stairs.  And Lily’s voice sounds like Peter Falk.  They all agree to give up smoking, but can’t seem to make it stick.  At the end they agree to have one last good-bye cigarette.  Ted in his voice over admits it wasn’t any of their last cigarettes and let’s us know when exactly each of them quit, although he’s vague about the dates when it comes to himself and Marshall and Lily.

My biggest problem with this episode was it wasn’t all that original.  It seemed like a direct rip-off of Friends.  There were two episodes in particular that came to mind as I was watching tonight’s show.  The first one was when Chandler was trying to quit smoking.  The second one was where Rachel starts smoking so that she can get in good with her boss.  Sure there is nothing new under the sun, but this one hit a little too close to the Friends mark.  It also seemed a little out of left field.  Never once in the history of this show has any of these characters been seen smoking, ok maybe Barney has, but I’m sure it was sex related.

Thoughts and Observations:

• Obviously in 2030 smoking is even more taboo than it is now.  Ted’s kids were shocked when he told them about the gang smoking.  Also, was that the first time we’ve ever heard them speak before?
• When Ted referenced when everyone quit smoking he talked about Lily trying to get pregnant and Marshall quitting when his first child was born.  My guess is this is a bit of foreshadowing for these two.  Obviously it is the next logical step for the couple.
• By the end of the episode the bit with Lily’s voice was a little played out.  It would have been funny in a small dose, but it went on too long.
• Ted also talked about Robin starting to date her co-host Don Frank in three months.  My guess is that we will see that sometime in the spring near the end of the season.
• It was nice seeing teen Marshall, and all the Marshall “last cigarette ever” flashbacks.  I love that pirate costume.
• Barney only smokes when it’s post-coital, pre-coital, pregnancy scares,and when the Mets are mathematically eliminated from contention.  When asked why he was smoking at that moment he explains that he’s always pre-coital.
• Marshall’s formula to hide the fact that he had been smoking included smoking in his underwear, showering, using some sort of loofa on his mouth and then spritzing cologne in there following.

Ted has always been the main character of How I Met Your Mother, or at least it started off that way.  He is the narrator after all, but last season and this current one the focus has slipped away from Ted and into making the show much more of an ensemble piece.  Don’t get me wrong, the show is much funnier this way, because… well let’s be honest Ted is the least funny member of the cast.  All that being said, it was nice to get back to the roots of the show.  Besides it wasn’t like the other characters weren’t there, the focus was just mainly on Ted.

I loved the 15 year old Marshall flashback.  Of course Marshall, I mean Vanilla Thunder rocked the overalls and the rat tail. The problem is that I’m just about the same age, and 15 years ago there was nothing cool about either of those things.  22 years ago they were both awesome, but anyone rocking those two things would have gotten his ass-kicked on a regular basis.  Maybe that’s another way Marshall became such a great fighter.  Robin also stepped up in this episode.  There is no doubt in my mind that by the end of the night she would have gone to second base and further just to prove that she had the goods to get the guy interested.  The highlight of the evening was Barney accepting his own challenge to get laid while wearing the overalls.  Of course his wearing them over his suit was a real nice touch as well.

Back to the touching part.  The whole storyline with Ted waiting for Maggie to be single for the past 12 years was really nice.  Ted is looking for the perfect woman, and Maggie might have been it.  His talk about the perfect girl that got away, I’m sure touched a nerve with everyone watching, although I couldn’t figure out for the life of me who mine would have been.  I guess I’m just that big of a stud… oh wait maybe I just have a horrible memory.  In the end when she tells what Ted refers to as the “second greatest love story ever” (I assume he’s talking about his story as the greatest) it was nice to see the way that Ted took it, and that he’s going to continue to look for someone because he’s ready for a relationship.

Thoughts and Observations:

• M.A.G.G.I.E.- Make adjustments go get it energized!
• “What’s in the box?”  I loved Robin’s Brad Pitt in Se7en impression.
• At the erotic dog photo exhibit there was a photo of two dogs doing it “people style.”
• Not much Lily this week, but it was nice of her to offer to go bananas on Marshall in his office.
• It always nice to see future Marshall.  I would have liked to have seen him show up with Marshall’s lightsaber, after all Marshall knows they are coming in 3 to 5 years, he’s on the forums.  A lickey boom boom down.

15.  How I Met Your Mother- CBS, 2005- present: Not a lot of traditional sitcoms on this list, but How I Met Your Mother is a traditional single camera sitcom with a very unique non-linear storytelling method.  It has a great ensemble cast including Neil Patrick Harris in his greatest role since Doogie Howser, Barney Stinson.

14.  Mad Men- AMC, 2007- present: I think a lot of people wouldn’t have thought a drama set in the 1960’s based in an advertising agency would have worked.  And in different hands they sure might have been right, but under the skillful leadership of Matthew Weiner it’s brilliant.  Mad Men captures an era so different than the one we live in today, and captures it so accurately it’s scary.  I know people that grew up in this period that watch it just for the nostalgia, the fact that the show is so well written and so good is just an added bonus.  Only three seasons in, it’s put AMC on the map as a creator of original shows.  Largely an ensemble piece it’s hard to believe that most of the actors weren’t even alive at the period the show is set.

13. 24- FOX, 2001-present: Obviously when the show creators Joel Surnow and Robert Cochran first dreamed up the idea of 24 they had no idea that the world would change soon after.  The first episode of 24 aired a little less than two months after the events of September 11th, 2001.  All of a sudden the show became the most topical show on TV.  Set in real time with each episode taking place in a twenty four hour period with twenty four episode, one for each hour of the day it was original and ground-breaking.  We can also thank 24 for giving us one of TV’s greatest heroes, Jack Bauer, who also happens to be #1 on our list of TV’s biggest bad-asses.

12.  Six Feet Under- HBO, 2001-2005: The first of four offerings from HBO on this list.  Who would have thought a show about a funeral home could be so good?  The show was so dark, yet oddly comedic as well.  The Fisher might be one of the most dysfunctional families in the history of television.

11. Breaking Bad- AMC, 2008- present: High School chemistry teacher realizes he’s dying so he begins to make and sell meth.  Sounds like the premise for a comedy, but there is very little funny about this great show.  It’s dark and wonderfuly well written.  The only problem is that the seasons are so short.  Season three starts this fall and it’s going to be great!

10. Sons of Anarchy- FX, 2008- present: Readers of JoeOnTheTube.com know just ow muck I love this show.  It is a mix of everything that makes TV great.  Wonderful writing, great characters played by amazing actors, the perfect level of drama with just enough laughs thrown in to break the tension.  This modern retelling of Hamlet set in the world of outlaw motorcycle clubs is a fresh and welcome change to so much of the monotonous TV that is out there.  With only two seasons under it’s belt I had trouble moving it any higher, but next year when the real list comes out and it has a thrid season out I expect it to fall in the top five.Series creator Kurt Sutter knows what makes awesome TV.

9.  Top Chef- Bravo, 2006- present: Despite this being the decade of reality shows I’ve only  included one on this list, the one I consider the gold standard for reality shows.  Top Chef took the format of Project Runway, and improved on it.  At it’s heat it’s a simple cooking contest, but the drama that comes up in the kitchen and in the house where the chefs who are competing (I don’t like the term “cheftestants”) live really turns up the heat.  Plus a little Padma Lakshimi is always a good thing.

8.  It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia- FX, 2005-present: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is the funniest show currently on TV, and the second funniest show of the past decade (I’ll get to the funniest show later in the list).  While it might be the funniest show currently on TV, let’s face it that humor isn’t for everyone.  It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is an equal opportunity offended, and sure to offend everyone who watches it sooner or later, but that’s one of the things that makes it so great.  This show started off with a bang and got better after the addition of Danny DeVito in the second season.

7. The Office- NBC, 2005-present: I know there are those people out there that believe the American version of The Office is just a poor man’s rip-off of the British version, and that might have been the case for the first season and a half, but since then The Office has taken the foundation that the British version poured and built a very solid house on it.  Each season seems to get better and better, and the mockumentry format of the show makes it feel like no other show on TV.  The fact that they’ve held on to the original cast through six seasons despite some of them becoming huge stars says a lot about the quality of this show.

6.  Big Love- HBO, 2006- present: It’s hard to qualify Big Love, I guess it is a drama, but man it sure is funny sometimes as well.  The show centers on a modern polygamist family, the Henricksons living n Sandy, Utah.  Bill Henrickson is just like any other modern man, except he was raised on a polygamist compound and he has three wives.  The problems that comes with having three wives are the same as the problem you have with one wife, just three times as many.  The series also introduced us to one of the great villains of the decade, the Prophet Roman Grant , played by Harry Dean Stanton.  Season 4 starts January 10th, it’s going to be great.

5.  30 Rock- NBC, 2006- present: The show that takes place within a show, sort of.  With a cast like Tiny Fey, Alec Baldwin, Tracy Morgan and an amazing supporting cast how could this show not be great.  Despite the first three seasons not doing great in the ratings, NBC has stuck with it (even with all the fun they have at the Peacock Network’s expense) and each season gets better and better.  With Tina Fey Writing many of the episode it shouldn’t be a surprise how great this show is.

4. Curb Your Enthusiasm- HBO, 2000- present?: It would be easy to understand if Larry David retired from television all together after creating, Seinfeld, one of the greatest sitcoms of all time, especially considering all the money he’s made.  Luckily for us that wasn’t the case.  In 1999, just a year after Seinfeld went off the air Larry David started in a special for HBO called Larry David: Curb Your Enthusiasm.  It was intended to be a one-off show, and it became the series, Curb Your Enthusiasm.  The show is loosely based on Larry David’s real life, and is completely improvised, which adds to it’s comedic appeal.    The seventh season of Curb Your Enthusiasm just ended last week, and there is a good chance that it will be the end of the series.

3. The Wire- HBO, 2002-2008: If not for The Soprano’s, The Wire would be the greatest show in HBO history; and it is easily the greatest cop show on the decade, maybe of all time..  Set in the gritty crime ridden city of Baltimore each season dealt with a different aspect of life revolving around the drug trade.  The central police characters were the same, but the story was different each season with stories dealing with the port, politicians, the school system and the print media.  The show was raw and it was real.  No happy endings here.

2.  Arrested Development- FOX, 2003-2006: Easily the funniest show of the past decade.   If ever there was a case of a show being gone too soon this is it.  Arrested Development centered around the Bluth family, a high dysfunctional group of misfits surrounding the only sane member of the family, Michael.  The writing was brilliant and the cast was amazing with Jason Bateman, David Cross, Jeffrey Tambor, Will Arnet, Tony Hale, Portia De Rossi, Jessica Walther, and Michael Cera.  As if that wasn’t enough, the guest stars and supporting cast were a virtual who’s who of Hollywood, including Ed Beagly Jr., Liza Minneli, Carl Wethers, Charlize Theron, Scott Baio, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, James Lipton, Amy Poehler, Ben Stiller, Jeff Garlin, Christine Taylor, and Jane Lynch to name only a few.  This show lives on in DVD, and soon to be in re-runs on IFC.  There are talks about a movie, but no news on a release date yet.  I would also like to point out that this show made me feel okay about my condition, I’m a never-nude.

1.  The Soprano’s- HBO, 1999-2007: Easily the best show of the past ten years, and maybe the greatest show of all time.  The Soprano’s is what TV should be.  It was real, it was dynamic, it was gritty, and we loved every bit of it.  From the moment we meet Tony Soprano and his ducks to the final scene in the diner, The Soprano’s never took a misstep.  The Soprano’s made it alright to root for the bad guys.  It was unlike any other show that came before it, and while may will try I don;t know that it’s formula will ever be repeated successfully.  David Chase is brilliant, and  hope that he will come back to TV again soon.

I’m sure I left a lot out.  Let me know what you think belonged on this list that I missed.

DarinIsLost-

• I’m thankful for Lost.  It has survived long enough to come to its natural conclusion.  Most serialized TV shows get cancelled before their time and an ending is simply fabricated.  Let’s hope they end this right.
• I’m thankful for being able to pause live TV.  I can start an American Idol results show 2/3 of the way through, skip past all of the filler and still catch the ending right along with the rest of the world.

JoanieCan’tDance-

• This year I am thankful for Psych, How I Met Your Mother, The Office & 30 Rock for making me laugh; All the Real Housewife’s for sharing all the crazy drama; and to SYTYCD for the entertainment. I am also thankful for my DVR. Without you, I would never get to enjoy all of my favorite shows.

Morate-

• The return of Curb Your Enthusiasm. The near-heroic levels of sarcasm on this show warm my heart. It’s been nice to see the Seinfeld cast again too, but Larry’s the true star of the show.
• I’m not sure who gave the programming controls to the Metalheads out there, but I’d like to buy them a shot of Jagermeister. VH1’s That Metal Show and Fuse’s Talking Metal are standouts of the resurgence. Rawk!
• Via Netflix, I’m catching up on Dexter. I totally missed it the first time around due to my lack of Showtime. This show is dark and dirty, and did I mention the main character has very few redeeming qualities? I can see why the networks were so afraid of this show. Dig it.
• The wife is thrilled to have a second helping of So You Think You Can Dance this fall. And, as you married guys know, it’s good to have a happy wifey.

Her & Him-

• HER: Tony’s truth serum induced rescue of Ziva on the season opener of NCIS.
  HIM: I absolutely love NCIS. The season opening was pretty great.
• HER: The Good Wife.
  HIM: Have never seen The Good Wife – don’t need to, I already have one. (Love ya babe)
• HER: Tom DeLay’s broken whatever that finally bumped him off Dancing With the Stars since the judges were apparently too dumbstruck by his ridiculous old man Republican hip shakin’ booty to do it.
  HIM: Ok, I’ll say it, I’m ok watching Dancing With the Stars – the women’s dance outfits are worth the time.
• HER: My husband doesn’t watch NASCAR.
  HIM: I don’t get NASCAR – go straight, turn left, go straight, turn left – um, ok?!
• HER: Phineas and Ferb.
  HIM: Phineas and Ferb
• HER: My daughter has finally outgrown Noggin.
  HIM: Unfortunately, she’s picked up watching videos on CMT with her mom. :-/
• HER: PBS.
  HIM: PBS is now on our radar again.
• HER: There are only a few weeks when the Mavericks and the Rangers overlap. Even fewer since the Rangers blew the last half of the season.  (I’m not saying I’m thankful the Rangers blew the last half of the season. I was rooting for them. But come on, how freaking long can one season be? Oh wait, that question can be answered by the NBA.)
  HIM: Yep, I love watching sports on TV
• HER: Grey’s Anatomy is good again.
  HIM: Grey’s Anatomy is good again.
• HER: That we only have one TV in our house and I am frequently reminded of the depths of my husband’s love. Case in point – last night, he watched Donnie Osmond take home the Glitter Ball trophy on Dancing With the Stars, even though the Mav’s were playing.  I’ll return the favor, of course, when I watch seven football games with him on Sunday. But that’s why God created DVR. Which I’m also thankful for.
  HIM: Yep, I love watching sports on TV

JoeOnTheTube-

• I’m thankful for my wife, who let’s me watch as much TV as I want.  I’m thankful for my newborn son whom I look forward to imparting my love of TV on, but I promise to make sure he goes outside and plays as well.
• I’m thankful that Ed O’Neill and Katey Sagal, or Peg and Al Bundy one of the most iconic married couples in the history of television, have found home on two of the best shows on TV.
• I’m thankful for the two best new shows of the season, Modern Family and Glee.
• I’m thankful for HBO and their wonderful shows True Blood, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Big Love, Bored To Death, The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency,and of course the upcoming mini-series The Pacific.
• I’m thankful that AMC has started producing quality television that rivals any other network on TV, including HBO.  Mad Men and Breaking Bad are both amazing.
• I’m thankful that Kurt Sutter created the world of Sons of Anarchy, and took us along for the ride.  As season two comes to an end I can honestly say that I believe it is currently the best hour of TV on.
• I’m thankful for the great people who write for this blog.  You make my life easier, and I really appreciate it.
• I’m thankful for this blog and all its readers.  When I started this thing about a year and a half ago I never imagined that anyone aside from a few of my friends and family would read it.  This month we’ve had over 30,000 visitors, and that blows my mind.  We have some big changes coming up, and I hope that everyone keeps coming back.  As long as you are reading we will be watching.

The premise was simple.  Lily was cooking Thanksgiving dinner, and Marshall found the greatest turkey ever, but he left it in the cab.  He’s very upset, but when Ted and Robin bring it back from the port authority Marshall is so excited he gives them one of the most generous gifts ever, his fourth slap.  All they have to do is decide who’s going to slap Barney and it must be done before sundown when the meal begins.

As the two of them decide and argue about who’s going to deliver the slap to Barney while he sitting in the slap-throne there is another knock at the door.  It turns out to be Lily’s dad, Mickey Aldren played by Chris Elliot.  At this point we get some back story about why Lily hates her dad.  Turns out that he always aspired to create the next great American board game.  He was so obsessed with it he missed Lily’s childhood.  When he moves back in with Lily’s grandparents and her grandfather is forced to go back to work at the steel mill it is the final straw and Lily gives him her “you’re dead to me” stare.  We see the other times she’s given the stare as well, once with one of her bridesmaids at her wedding, once with the neighbor across the hall who stole her paper, and once with the bodega owner who gave her regular instead of decaf coffee.

Marshall wants to get Lily and her father back together.  He thinks that every family should be like his.  Marshall is the one that invited Mickey to Thanksgiving and when Lily finds this out she leaves.  As they wait for her to come back they all play Mickey’s new board game Diseases.  Robin and Ted are still arguing about who gets to slap Barney.  Barney is egging them on in hopes that he won’t get slapped at all.  When Mickey’s game explodes goo all over the turkey Marshall loses it.  He tries to give Lily’s “you’re dead to me” stare, but he can’t do it as well as she can.  Marshal leaves to find Lily, and it turns out that she’s in the bodega.  She realizes that she wants her father in her life, and they go back upstairs to enjoy Thanksgiving.  First the slap has to take place.  Robin eventually gives in and let’s Ted do the slapping, he gives it back to her, and she gives it to Mickey who in turn gives it to Lily.  Lily can’t bring herself to slap Barney so Marshall declares there will be no slap this year.  Just as Barney is untied from the slap-throne he stands up and Marshall delivers a huge slap that send Barney to the floor.

Thoughts and Observations:

• “YouuuuSonOfABitch.” This is the second time that Lily has delivered the line.  I’m hoping it becomes her new catch phrase, because it is funny when she says it.
• What did you think of the commercial for Micky’s new board game, “Slap Bet.”  I really wasn’t impressed.  It should have been funny, but it just wasn’t.
• I love that Ted lied about still being in love with Robin in order to get the slap.
• Some great slap puns: “This once pure fruit has turned into a poisoned slapple.”  Eric Slapton.  Slap Diem.
• Slap Bet Commissioner might be the greatest job in the world.  You can change the rules at your own whimsy to suit yourself.
• Only one slap left?  Do you think we will wait a long time to see it or will it come quickly so that another slap bet can take place?
• The board games Mikey Aldren created: Tijuana Slumlord, Car Battery, Landmine Lunge, There’s A Clown Demon Under Your Bed, Sleepy Tombstone Maze, Dog Fight Promoter, Diseases.

• The SNASA- Barney is a “secret” astronaut for Secret Nasa, and he’s been to the Secret Moon, Smoon.
• The Ted Mosby- Dress like Ted in a t-shirt with a flannel over it and tell girls you were left at the altar.
• The Cheap Trick- Tell girls you’re the bassist for Cheap Trick (it is actually quite expensive despite the name due to the hair extensions).
• The Don’t Drink That- Barney walks up to a girl and tells her not to drink her drink because he saw someone slip something inside it.
• The Penis Grants Wishes- Just what it sounds like, but a nice touch is if you wear a turban and harem pants.
• The He’s Not Coming- Where you walk up to random girls at the Empire State Building Observatory and ruin their Affair To Remember moment, by telling them “he’s not coming.”
• The Mrs. Stinsfire- An elaborate hoax in which Barney dresses like an aging woman to portray a sorority house-mother a la Mrs. Doubtfire (this one is Marshall’s favorite).
• The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn-  Plant fake news stories about Lorenzo Von Matterhorn all over the web.  Such stories could include news of your fortune, your balloon expedition, why you are a poor candidate for successful penis reduction, etc.  Walk up to a girl and seem intrigued that she hasn’t heard of you, then walk away giving her time to Google you, when you return she’s yours.

Of course Lily is disgusted by all these scams and flim-flams Barney is pulling on these poor unsuspecting girls, so she steals “The Playbook” and threatens to publish it on the internet unless Barney stops.  Barney agrees and says he will stop.  Later we see him sitting at MacLaren’s in a full scuba suit all alone.  The gang isn’t sure what to make of it, and eventually they walk over and ask him.  Barney claims he didn’t realize just how hard this break-up had been on him, and all his hijinks were just a way to mask his hurt.  Lily feels Barney is sincere, and she gives Barney “The Playbook” back and convinces the blond to go to coffee with Barney.  After the two leave together Lily receives a text from Barney directing her to an envelope under the table.  Inside is a missing page from “The Playbook” which describes the exact situation that just happened, it’s called The Scuba Diver.

Most of the story revolved around Barney and his book with Lily trying to put a stop to it, but there was one other story line that while small also seemed important.  Robin continued to say that she was going to swear off men for a while and focus on her career.  Of course Ted and Marshall proclaim that she’s about to fall in love again and meet the man she will marry, since that’s how it works.  They keep brining it up all episode long, and at the end, Robin gets a new co-anchor Don, and there seems to be a spark.

Thoughts and Observations:

• Remember when this show was about Ted finding his future wife and mother of his children? I understand that the cast is strong, but the Ted storyline has all but disappeared. I”m assuming now that they have Barney and Robin broken up and Barney back to his ways the story of How I Met Your Mother will continue.
• Marshall told a great story comparing Robin finding someone when she’s not looking to him finding frozen waffles.  “Also, could you pick up some frozen waffles?  In this case, frozen waffles are frozen waffles.”
• MILTSWANCA: Mothers I’d like to sleep with and never call again.  Gotta love Barney.  When Ted figures out what it stands for Barney is so excited “Circle gets the square.”
• Robin does have her own book about dating “Two volume set, right here,” she points out.  “They are a great read, ” Ted tells the group.  “Reading it right now,” Lily murmurs.
• I really would love to read the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn stories, especially the one about the laser tag tournament at the Vatican.
• This CBS will sell “The Playbook” the same way they sold the “BroCode?”

Last night’s episode was again about Robin and Barney with Ted, Marshall and Lilly taking a back-seat to their relationship.  Barney and Robin bring over a crate of Barney’s porn to give to Ted.  Barney doesn’t need it anymore since he’s in a relationship.  The fact that he and Robin are in a relationship is beginning to show, Robin is looking a little worse for wear and Barney is starting to get what Marshall dubs “relationship gut.”  It’s obvious that Marshall and Lily want the porn as does Ted.  After Marshall and Lily leave (they did manage to steal one movie called “Squat”) Ted sees a video titled “ArcaSEXture” and magically it flies into his VCR when he accidentally drops the box.  It turns out that it really isn’t a porn movie, but a video that Barney made knowing that Ted would choose that title.  He tells Ted that if he is in possession of Barney’s porn that Barney must either be dead or in a relationship.  If he’s in a relationship then Ted MUST break him up with the girl.

It quickly becomes obvious that maybe Barney and Robin aren’t really that happy.  Barney is eating throughout the whole episode, getting fatter and fatter; and Robin can’t seem to stand a single word that comes out of Barney’s mouth.  Ted and Marshall realize they have to break the pair up.  Their original idea is to plant a fake engagement ring in a class of champagne, knowing that Robin will freak out and it wil be over.  Turns out the plan backfires and they couple decides that there are some reasons they should get married.  Realizing that they can’t do this alone, Ted and Marshall turn to the master, Lily.  Lily hatches a brilliant plan to recreate Barney and Robin’s four biggest fights all at once.  The three of them plan a stake-out and watch as Crazy Meg, Alan Thicke, a stormtrooper (really The Robot from Lost In Space), and dirty dishes make an appearance all at once.  It turns out that none of these things work.  What works is that Barney and Robin actually see themselves for what they are, not happy and the break up.  By the end of the episode looks like the relationship is over and things are back to the way they were before last season started.  It was great seeing the old Barney Stinson walk in to the bar with the line, “Daddy’s back.”

Thoughts and Observations:

• While the fat suit is normally a cheap gimmick, it really worked with Barney here.  There were some great jokes at “Fat Barney’s” expense.  As he’s eating a basket of wings, “Looks like I’m my own wingman here, Ted.”  “I think Barney ate the relationship chicken.”  And the fact that Barney would rather sit in bed with a whole pizza instead of have sex.
• “Legen — wait for it — ds of the Fall!”
• I think Ted watched a whole lot more of that porn than he let on.  When the pizza guy showed up at the stake-out station wagon (a van was $25 more) Ted knew all the lines to some of the porn movies.
• The three reasons Barney and Robin decide to get married: Robin could get her citizenship.  Most of her stuff is moved into his place already.  Scherbatsky is hard to spell.
• I really hope we see more Alan Thicke when Barney finds the show that he and Robin made together in Canada.
• In the video, Barney asked Ted to take him for a Weekend at Bernie’s style romp in the Hampton’s if he was dead.
• Will this really be the end of the Barney/Robin relationship?  Will they backslide or will they now act like it never happened?